The Great Acting Blog: “Discovering Artistic Fulfilment”
It can be a shock when we see our performance on the screen for the first time. It rarely matches our concept of the role or what we thought we were doing at the time. What we are seeing on the screen is the reality of what we did, not the thing we saw in our mind’s eye but the actual performance we gave, with all it’s warts. In time though, we accept it and see it for what it is, we gradually begin to realise that the warts were not warts at all but little, unplanned moments of truth, and the other notions we had about the performance become forgotten.
If we cannot accept the actual performance and become fixated on what it could’ve been, then it is going to become a source of great irritation to us, like a stone in our shoe. Mercifully however, we get to move onto our next piece of work, which generally offers relief.
What happens if we are continually irritated by the scripts we are sent? Or continually disappointed by the directors we meet? Or if we can never find that theatre company which shares our values?
After a certain point, we will need to heed the warning: perhaps the source of our irritation and disappointment arises because the script we want to read, the director we want to meet, the theatre company we want to be a part of, is in fact within us. Unlike the performance we learn to accept, we may never accept these other situations. In this case, the only remedy will be to write the script we want to read ourselves, to become the director we want to meet, to create the theatre company we want to be a part of.
Can you find what you’re looking for around you? If not, then look within and bring it into the world. Â You may, in so doing, find the artistic fulfilment you’ve been looking for.
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