The Great Acting Blog: “Disappointment Is Self-Fulfilling”
Actors learn not to expect anything in order to buffet themselves from the disappointments which are part of their daily life. They don’t hear about that audition they knocked out of the park, or the phone doesn’t ring, another rejection letter arrives in the post, the script’s garbage, another day passes without gainful employ which means their best acting years are wasting away. Then there is the nullifying of actors’ ambition which was so raw when they were young but which disappointment has caused them to limit in order to simply maintain some semblance of self-respect.
These self-imposed limitations are understandable. Crushed by unfulfilled ambitions on too many occasions, the actor stops dreaming and becomes realistic in order to limit the blows. It’s about sustaining psychological equilibrium.
The problem with limiting your thinking however, is that you stop thinking altogether. You stop imagining your future, you stop thinking about it and, as we know, what you think becomes what you do. Limiting your thinking is the psychological equivalent of putting on a straight-jacket. It may appear to be a protective measure but it has harmful results. You will miss out on potential opportunities because you will not be looking for them, and you will fail to better yourself because you will have settled into a position which is acceptable to you. Most cruelly of all, you will never come to understand that a disappointment is not a disappointment at all, it is an opportunity to learn.
Disappointment then, is self-fulfilling.
talya2312/ 10.08.2013
How interesting that you are writing about this subject, because that is exactly what I have been thinking about the past 3 weeks. Three weeks ago I had an audition and I haven’t heard back from the people, so I just assumed that I did not get the part. It kind of bums me out but the audition itself was a great learning experience for me. It can be difficult to see the positive in every situation, but positive thinking is a learning process in itself.
James Devereaux actor/ 10.08.2013
Terrific comment, many thanks.
Natasha Younge/ 11.08.2013
As usual, an eloquent observation, James. I’m not sure this place is avoidable – in fact I was quite aware when I’d arrived and what it was, but until I decided enough was enough, couldn’t leave. And in fact, it can sneak back disguised as a different “location”! Was there a moment when you figured out how to move forward?
James Devereaux actor/ 11.08.2013
It’s just about getting your mindset right and being self-aware. I’m also a great believer in just doing things, and if they fall apart don’t panic, because you’ve just learnt how to do it better for next time.